I am married to an American and live in America. I want to raise my daughter strictly to become an independent woman, as American society demands. Because I decided to raise my child with love to make her obedient, I am more lenient with my son. This is for his benefit as well as my own. In my view, a man is someone who is gentle, kind, and full of affection. Therefore, I want to raise my son in the same way that my mother taught me when I was a child. In other words, by nurturing him by breastfeeding him, often stroking him, and holding him.
In Japan, there is a tradition of carrying children, but perhaps it is more accurate to say that this custom arose out of necessity rather than out of maternal affection. Wives in ancient times carried many children, and considering the difficulty, it was very troublesome. Carrying a baby on your back helps prevent accidents and allows free movement of your hands while shopping and doing housework. However, I plan to implement this custom in American society. The sense of peace I gained from carrying my child on my back while doing chores was met with ridicule, and my neighbors even stared at me with wide eyes.
It turned out that not only did the neighbors laugh when they saw me and my baby, but they were also impressed by the physiological and psychological effects of carrying a child on my back. Some even imitated what I did (onbu) in their yards, where they were also washing dishes and mowing the lawn. Once, a conversation or discussion took place between the neighbors, and the topics discussed included: a housewife who had studied psychology explained that in this day and age, skinship (a relationship expressed as an expression of a mother's love for her child) is a response to a need, and onbu is the most effective way. Others also said that mothers will remember the love they felt for the child they raised in their arms. At that time, not only I, as a foreigner, but Americans felt lonely too. I've noticed that the sight I see every time I return to Japan is that mothers carrying their children on their backs has become fewer and mothers pulling strollers have become more numerous. Young mothers are beginning to be influenced by changing times, such as when many mothers were still giving birth, and with the advent of sophisticated electrical appliances for household needs, mothers' workloads have become lighter. Is it because carrying a child on your back raises the fear that the child's legs will form an "O" shape, or that carrying a child on your back makes the mother's appearance embarrassing or less attractive? Nevertheless, I believe this custom, when considered morally, is a good one. Onbu is a unique way to strengthen the bond between mother and child.
DATA SOURCE: Masako Ford
